Supporting a loved one through any cancer diagnosis or treatment can be stressful and filled with uncertainty. It is common for patients, families, and friends to feel sad, anxious, angry, or lonely throughout this time. Many people want to support their loved one through the process of cancer treatment, but may not know what to do or say.
The most important thing you can do for a loved one going through cancer treatment is to be there to support them. In order to support someone else, it is important to take care of your own mental and physical health. In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, here are some tips to help you support your loved one and yourself through this difficult process.
Be open to discussing their feelings about their diagnosis or treatment
Different people will react differently to their diagnosis. Some may want a loved one to listen to their fears, thoughts, and feelings. Others may not want to discuss it and may welcome distractions. If you do not know what to say, it’s ok to say that too. Be flexible for your loved one and let them know you are available to listen and whatever they are feeling is ok.
Find a space for you to openly discuss your own emotions
Whether it be with friends, family, or in therapy, it is important for you to find someone to express your feelings and concerns with. It is difficult to care for someone else if you have not cared for yourself. By processing your own emotions, you will have more emotional energy to care for your loved one.
Listen to your body and be aware of your own needs
When caring for someone else it can be easy to forget to listen to our own needs. Although your loved one’s body and spirit need a lot of attention and care, so do you! Listen to your body; if you need rest, get some sleep. If you are hungry, eat a nourishing meal. You may want to take five minutes each day to sit with yourself and ask yourself what you need. You may say something like, “What can I do for myself in this moment?” or “What does my body need right now?”
Continue finding ways to connect with your loved one.
Just because your loved one is going through cancer, does not mean their life has stopped. Continue to hang out and invite them to do things you have always done together. Ask your loved one what they need if you are going to a special event. Cancer can feel isolating to go through, so including your loved one in every day tasks or larger events can feel comforting and inclusive to them.
Every person is different, so it is important to check in with your loved one to understand what feels best to them. Although it can be hard to know what to do or say in this situation, ultimately, your loved one wants to be heard and to spend time with you. As long as you are checking in with them and yourself and your own needs, you are doing the best you can.
By: Mickey Field
Mental Health Counseling Intern
References:
American Cancer Society. (2024, July 29). Cancer and mental health: how caregivers,
friends, and family can help.
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